How to meet people on social media
A guide for people who hate apps and smalltalk
Originally posted on my Facebook page March 14th, 2019
I wrote it for straight men seeking straight women, before Facebook’s algorithm started churning out nazis so it’s antiquated and not perfect but still a great starting point.
Men trying to meet women, listen up.
Differentiating between women saying "I'm not interested in you" and women who simply have some level of social anxiety really isn't that easy these days. Women on the internet are harassed daily, and even if you're genuinely interested in a friendship, you might not get a response. While I'm not going to call this a "how to find female friends that sometimes result in some level of a relationship" guide, here's a list of some things that have worked pretty well for me.
Stop using dating sites. Start being more active on Facebook. Post things you enjoy. Comment on friends posts. Join a local groups for things you are interested in, be active in those
Don't friend or message women you haven't interacted with. Even if Facebook says you might know them.
Make sure your profile pictures, and some information is public in your privacy settings. A quick look at your profile should give an idea on your sense of humor, a few things you do for fun, and something conversation worthy that you've done.
Don't hit on them, unless they hit on you. You're not flirting. You're trying to get to know them, and let them get to know you
When you interact with them, it should be relevant. Reply to something they said, rather than giving your own input. If you're initiating conversation, let it be about them, ask how their day was or message to talk about something they posted/shared. Talk about you if they ask.
If they don't reply to your message, don't send another. If you've been talking back and forth for a while and they suddenly stop replying, wait a few days before sending another message. And if they don't reply to that one, simply don't message them again unless they message you.
If they cancel plans to hang out, let them initiate rescheduling ESPECIALLY if it's the time you were going to meet. Do not ask for a reason if one wasn't provided. Do not question their reason if one was.
Make sure you're not the only one initiating contact
Just because they accept your friend request doesn't mean they want to talk with you, or that they'll want to get to know you
Even if you're already flirting, ask if they want to see it before sending any form of lewd/nude. Don't send dick pics
Don't suggest meeting in person in the first few days, preferably week or so, of talking with them
Be yourself. Sure, tone it back like 30%, but the goal here is to skip the games, so let her get to know who you actually are. Become who you want to be and the right people will notice and be interested.
Post pet pictures. They want to see them more than you, promise.
If you take one thing from this, let it be that you should interpret silence as disinterest, and not try to change that.
Disclaimer, this won't apply to all women, or maybe not even most. Maybe it only works on my type of women. But if you want a woman who takes initiative, communicates well, and most importantly is interested back in you, this is a fantastic way to go about using Facebook to date. And please, if I'm incorrect or there's a way to do something better, please say so here. Obviously there are many who might have better idea of that than me..
This has worked for all the men I've interacted with and actually liked. My partner of 8 years, Facebook. My most recent year long relationship, Facebook. Meeting you and engaging in fun stimulating conversation, Facebook.